3 Reasons Babies Fight Naps (and what you can do to help)

Does your baby ever just fight naps?

Some babies are happy to nap whenever, wherever, while others tend to have a harder time letting go and surrendering to sleep. If your baby is a little more sensitive or has a harder time napping, it can become a really stressful part of your day when nap time rolls around. We know this, because we’ve been there before! Today we want to talk to you about some of the main reasons why we see little ones having a harder time surrendering to sleep, and give you our favourite tips to be able to move into naptime bliss!

Reason #1: The timing is a little off. This is something we see more and more often since there are so many free sleep schedules available all over the internet. The challenge we see families running into is trying to follow these schedules instead of reading the needs of their unique baby. There are averages that can help you figure out when your baby should be napping as a starting point, but then we really need to attune to our babies to see where they fit on that average. Some babies need more sleep more often than others, while others are happy to stay up a little longer between naps. We encourage you to experiment with when you’re trying to put your baby down for a nap to ensure you’re asking them to sleep when they’re ready to!

Reason #2: Something is off in their environment. We know some babies can nap literally whenever and wherever they feel tired, but other babies are really sensitive to their surroundings. They may be feeling too hot or too cold to comfortably let go and fall asleep. Some babies are really attuned to their surroundings and get overstimulated very quickly if they have too busy of a wakeful period or interact with too many new people during that time. Other babies are really sensitive to light in their sleep environment and are best able to sleep when we help them to tune out all their distractions with a darker room and maybe even a sound machine to mask sounds. Spend some time getting to know your baby’s unique needs so you can set them up for success when it comes to naps.

Reason #3: We’re feeling anxious and stressed about sleep. Babies and toddlers attune to us as their caregivers to co regulate their emotions. This is especially helpful when they are upset and we can meet them with empathy and compassion to share our calm with them to help them get back to regulated, but it works just as well against us when we’re less than regulated ourselves. When we’re feeling stressed or anxious about sleep, babies’ mirror neurons pick up on this and they feel a little uneasy about sleep too. For anyone to fall asleep they need to be working from the calm of the parasympathetic nervous system. When babies are alarmed or stressed because of how we’re feeling, they are working from their sympathetic nervous system and cannot fall asleep. We can see this as adults too when we think about how difficult it is to fall asleep when we feel like we have to rush to sleep or after we just had an argument with our partners. We need to be super attuned to how we are feeling about sleep and first try to regulate ourselves, so our babies can co-regulate to calm with us.

Here are our suggestions:

Let it go: Remember anything you are having a hard time with when it comes to babies is likely only temporary. Sometimes we just need to let go of the pressure and expectations we feel and instead focus on embracing the snuggles while our little ones are still this small and so dependent on us.
Focus on your own emotions around sleep: If we want them to feel calm and believe that the vulnerable state of sleep is an okay place for them to be, we need to believe that too. We need to radiate confidence and positivity for them. The most important thing is to protect the relationship with your child. Let go of nap battles on and focus on connecting with your child.
Take some extra time to get to know your baby: To be honest, we’re sure you already know them very well, you just need to take a moment to tune what you already know! They will have unique cues, unique rhythms and unique patterns. Let go of the generic strategies and age based schedules. What works for your baby? How do they communicate with you that sleep pressure has built up enough and they are ready to rest? Familiarizing yourself with, and accepting, their temperament and unique personality can go a long way in struggle free naps as well!
Check out your baby’s sleep environment: Is it conducive for sleep? Try dimming the lights or consider using white noise. Is it a space they are familiar and comfortable with? Or is it a space they have associated with frustration and negative emotion? You might want to add more playtime in their sleep space to build up those positive sleep associations!
Build and stick to a routine you both enjoy: This can take a lot of the guesswork out of naps! When our babies know what is coming next, when there is a strong sense of predictability, sleep transitions can take place with much greater ease.⠀
Get a fresh perspective: Pick some positive things to focus on when it comes to nap (for example how amazing those baby snuggles are). Don't compare to anyone else, every baby is so different and no two babies have the same needs⠀⠀
Don’t be afraid to use motion naps: Try taking the nap on the go! A stroller or baby-wearing can be great to combat nap time battles, plus getting fresh air can do wonders for everyone’s mood! As long as your baby is safe, the crib is not a requirement.
Don’t get in a battle: If you are frustrated and things are not going well, take a break. Go play for a few minutes, read a book, get outside for a quick walk. Do what you need to do to reset and settle into a better mindset, then try again. It is better to reconnect and have a late nap, than spend an hour in a dark room feeling frustrated and defeated next to your sweet babe.

If you want more tips and tricks on managing naps and nap transitions, be sure to grab our free nap guide here!